Synopses for Movies that Don't Exist

An AI and I

For awhile in the early 2000s, I wrote synopses for Netflix. This was before they were a streaming service and just mailed DVDs. My friends occasionally asked me if I had to actually watch all the movies I wrote about. I did not. In fact, I came to realize that there were ways to write synopses for movies you’ve never seen, basically by being vague enough. For instance, if you’re writing about a thriller, it’s a given that at some point, things turn out to be not what they seem. A protagonist in an action movie is guaranteed to be tested as he’s never been tested before or must go to extremes when all the chips are down. Rom-coms are about when the lead finds love where she least expects it.

I decided to generate some movie synopses with what’s called a one-shot prompt. I’ve been reading Exploring GPT-3: An unofficial first look at the general-purpose language processing API from OpenAI by Steve Tingiris, a quite helpful guide to using the AI. One of the first things Tingiris covers is the difference between a zero-shot and a one-shot or few-shot prompt. A one-shot prompt just includes an example of the kind of completion you’re hoping to generate. Few-shot prompts include multiple examples. This is just a way to tell GPT-3, “Make something like this.”

I decided to try a one-shot prompt to generate Netflix-style synopses for movies that have never--and if we’re lucky will never--be made. —Ryan

A list of plot synopses for movies that don't exist.

Title: Banana Town

Synopsis: Mayhem ensues when a town full of bananas elects a cantaloupe as mayor. A local pineapple, living deep undercover in the Witness Protection program, discovers that things aren't quite what they seem and decides to take matters into his own hands. Will his team of rotten fruit reveal a secret plot to destroy the town before it's too late?

Title: Shrek vs. Lord of the Rings

Synopsis: It's an epic battle between Popeye and Rambo! Robin Hood and Batman...but not together, you sicko! The King Arthur legend continues with a dramatic retelling based on modern science—complete with laser blasts, machine guns and mechs to create a uniquely spectacular medieval action movie experience like no other! And who could forget the time-bending tale that explores what would happen if Pippi Longstocking met Ernest Hemingway?

Title: Dead-Mouse Island

Synopsis: In a special isolated community, the residents of Mouseville all have mouse ears and they think that it's something to be proud of. When new resident cat is horrified by their appearance, he decides to put an end this madness once and for all with his secret weapon – dead mice! But will his plan go off without a hitch?

Title: Homicide Holiday Spectacular

Synopsis: It's the most wonderful time of year again! With all the joy and festivities, it seems that everyone is in a festive mood. Except for one man who goes by "Santa" (the jolly old elf) when he does his rounds at night to kill people with an axe. Will this stop him from ending what has become known as Santa's bloody rampage?

Title: Stand by Me 2

Synopsis: The neighborhood kids are back! But this time, they're up against their biggest challenge yet - one that could potentially tear them apart. They've got to save each other and themselves before its too late.

Title: Atlas Shrugged 3

Synopsis: Dagny Taggart, the fearless steel tycoon who is now struggling to save her family's company. But she’s up against an unbeatable adversary-the malevolent Hank Rearden and his super alloy known as "Rearden Metal." The stakes are higher than ever before--and not just for her.

Title: Sock Puppets of the Caribbean

Synopsis: When a group of sock puppets from different islands around the world team up, their adventure to save an old treasure map is no match for two thieves who'll stop at nothing to get it. It's going to take all they've got and more if these eight-inch heroes are ever going go find their "booty" again!

Title: The Princess and the Pea

Synopsis: A classic children's tale, now told as a live-action drama. After moving into her new castle with her family, an infant princess finds that no matter how hard she tries to sleep soundly on any of the beds in the castle (including those made out of beans), something always seems to poke up from below – whether it be a rusty nail or pesky pea. Soon enough, not only is everyone who visits able to see this for themselves but so can anyone watching via satellite TV! As even more people come visiting due to all this fame and attention, will the princess ever find a place to get the sleep she needs and deserves?

Title: The Star Wars Trailer

Synopsis: When Jar-Jar Binks destroys the world, things look grim for everyone. That is until a new hope arises in the form of one little boy who will change everything forever--but only if he can survive!

Title: Better Luck Tomorrow 2: If They Move, Kill 'Em!

Synopsis: After a gang shooting goes awry and the leader's identity is revealed to be that of an undercover cop. His crew then launches into their most dangerous mission yet as they plan out his funeral--with a body double to take his place at the ceremony.

Title: Dumb and Dumber 3

Synopsis: The film is set in a utopian society where one-half of the population has complete mental health, while the other half are considered "dumb". Following her release from an institution for being dumb by government decree because she didn't want to have sex with anyone anymore, Virginia tries to find work. But when Governor Anthony R. Haben proposes marriage, it appears that there may be hope for her yet--until all hell breaks loose at their wedding reception!